Prime Time

POSTED: Sunday, Nov. 09, 2008

COVER STORY: Singles club helps shy seniors socialize

Two years after Ray Hiller's wife passed away, he felt he was ready to socialize again.

But, he asked, where?

"I looked around for a local club and I couldn't find one," says Hiller, a 67-year-old Bellingham resident. "Then a good friend found out about the Northwest Singles Club, and that's how I got involved."

Club president Diane Blake, 61, a retired high school English teacher, says the club is not a dating service, nor does it serve only seniors. But about two-thirds of the members are in their 60s or older.

"We're the only club of this type based in Whatcom County," she says, referring to a group of more than 100 active members. "We're a club for single adults over 21 of all ages."

Blake says the club offers about 20 activities most months, with an emphasis on meals, meetings and walking for exercise, along with activities such as dances, card nights, potlucks, theater and movie outings and outdoor activities.

Hiller, a retired commercial driver-training instructor, says the club is a lifeline with regard to making new friends, especially for people like him who need motivation to get out of the house.

Blake acknowledges how unnerved she was eight years ago to join a club for singles for the first time, in the wake of a divorce.

"I was very nervous to come into the group cold, but a woman named Helen was very kind to me and made me feel at home right away," she says. "This is the only social group I've ever belonged to. I can't say why the club has stuck with me, but it has. It's a nice group. They've kept it going for more than 30 years, so it has real continuity in the community."

Blake says many members are newcomers to Whatcom and Skagit counties. Hiller, however, wasn't a newcomer, but he says he might as well have been.

"I had been married for 40 years when my wife, Linda, died," he says. "It was a huge shock and my life totally changed.

"I'm not a big club member type of person, but I'd have to say the club has been really good for me," he says. "I used to be very shy. I'd always have to push myself (when he first joined) and now I'm glad I did. Now I feel comfortable, and I like to tease these girls," he says, pointing to Blake and three other members from Bellingham: Barbara Jolivette, Mary Lu Eastham and Kathy Webb.

Blake says the club's primary purpose is to keep people active.

"Our members don't want to sit home all the time," she says. "I may be in my 60s, but heart is 20."

Jolivette, 73, the club's membership chair, is a retired financial advisor. She especially remembers how supportive club members were when they would drive her to physical therapy following two knee replacements.

"I've met so many members who originally came from somewhere else who think Bellingham is a great place to live," she says. "Our club is about two-thirds women, one-third men."

Eastham, 70, the club's past president, is especially fond of socializing while trying different restaurant fare.

"One thing I really like is how we have dinner at a different place on Friday nights," she says. "I was married for 34 years before I got divorced. It's tough to socialize when all your friends have been married couples."

Webb, 63, a retired freelance court reporter, says she was on her way to live in Canada following a divorce when she discovered Bellingham on her way north. Now she's a club vice president and has a new circle of friends through the club.

"I felt like I was home the first day I got here," she says. "I can be very happy when I'm alone, but I'm also happy being with people. I went to one of our Saturday morning meetings in January 2006, and I've never stopped going.

"I'm open to dating, but I'm most interested in the friendships," Webb says. "I've met dozens of friends."

Jolivette says she has known about 10 couples who have married after meeting at the club during her 11 years as a member.

Webb says that whether or not members find romance, they'll definitely encounter a wide variety of personalities.

"We have a real amalgam of personalities and professions represented," she says. "That really makes it great."

Michelle Nolan is a Bellingham freelance writer.