Prime Time

POSTED: Sunday, Nov. 09, 2008

PROFILE: Jean and Bayard Sleeper, never far apart

JENNIFER KARCHMER

FOR THE BELLINGHAM HERALD

Names: Jean and Bayard Sleeper

Residence: The Leopold, Bellingham

Ages: Jean, 88; Bayard, 90.

Love at first sight: "I don't remember exactly how we met," Bayard says. "I think we were both working on a publication. Jean was a typist." Jean recalls that they were at a high school church camp. "I didn't like him at first because he was too religious," she says.

Married: July 19, 1945, the day Bayard returned from serving in World War II. Jean says they had planned to get married in 1942, but Bayard was sent overseas. "During World War II, everybody was apart. That's the way it was," she says. They had their honeymoon at Yellowstone National Park.

Origins: Bayard is from Idaho. Jean is from California. They were married in Salt Lake City and have lived "all over," including Fargo, N.D., and Poulsbo.

Former lives: Bayard was a professor of veterinary and microbiological sciences at North Dakota State University in Fargo. "He's a smart guy," says Jean, who raised the children and worked at the university's counseling center. "I ran the office of nonacademic testing. I loved it. It was a job I just fell into. I love college-age students. They're such neat kids. They're passed the horrible teenage years so they're fun."

All in the family: Their youngest daughter, who's 54, lives in Bellingham and another daughter, 59, lives in Vancouver, B.C. The eldest, 61, is located in Bethesda, Md., and they all met this summer for a gathering on Orcas Island. "The girls rented a house right on the beach. We certainly do enjoy our daughters," Bayard says. "We don't often have everyone together."

Keeping it together all these years: The couple agrees the secret to sustaining love is good communication and laughter. "Tolerance is the main thing and being willing to talk things through," Bayard says. "We're not perfect by any means, and we still speak civilly sometimes," Jean jokes.

Shared enthusiasms: "We love the arts, theater, music. We love to travel. You just hang in there. We had some good days and some very bad days. Besides that, we were always able to talk."

Staying engaged: Having similar interests has also added to their successful marriage. Several years ago while living in Poulsbo, they had season tickets to seven theaters in Seattle, going to the opera, symphony and plays. Eventually, Jean says, "We got older and dropped it down to three (theaters)."

Couples therapy: "Hang in there. I'm serious about that," Jean says. "It bothers me when I hear couples saying, 'Let's just get a divorce.'"

Sharp as a tack: Jean says she has vivid memories of blizzards she experienced while living in Fargo. "You have to have three things to have a blizzard: wind, falling temperatures and snow. In Fargo, the wind is so fierce is blows the snow horizontally. It gets down to 80 degrees below zero. Everything closes up," she says. Now that she's in Bellingham, she keeps those memories close to her heart.

Favorite visits: Jean and Bayard have traveled throughout the U.S. and internationally. "We did Europe and Africa and Asia. We've been to China twice, and visited the Himalayas," Jean says.

Bellingham fun: They enjoy sipping coffee at the Starbucks on Railroad Avenue and people watching. "We go in and order two mochas, one for the each of us. And we do a lot of walking together, nearly every day," Bayard says.

Low-tech: You won't find the couple on the computer though. "We don't own one. We're just not 'gadget' people," Jean says.

Forever young: "I should tell you, I have always enjoyed gardening," Bayard says. "Since we've been at Leopold, I've been working on planting on the open-air deck. We've got four strawberry plants and two rose bushes blooming."

How Jean contributes: "She picks the sweet peas," Bayard says.

Jennifer Karchmer is a Bellingham freelance writer.